Is red really red?
Alas the world of Homee dad is often one filled with excitement, joys, disappointments and opportunities to learn. I Homee dad am a strong believer in taking in as much as one is able, after all if you don't shoot you cannot possible score (not a reflection on the LEAFS, for this is definitely the year of the LEAF).
As many are aware HD and Sidekick Sue have been renovating our humble home for some years now. A few weeks ago Homee ordered new garage doors for the resting place that houses our modes of transportation. The excitement grew as HD awaited for said doors to arrive, thus he could again impress the love of his life SKS with his ability to challenge and conquer.
For anyone who has taken a project like this on they are well aware the secret (although there are many) is to take your time and follow a few simple instructions.
1) do not consume rum while attempting to install doors
2) ensure you have a clean, unobstructed work place
3) read instruction carefully before proceeding with anything
4) ensure at all points that every thing is level
5) red means left side and black means right side
Homee was pumped, these instructions were very clear - and printed in such a manner that even HD could follow. (well #1 was tough but, I was out of rum at the time)
Two 7' X9' doors and all parts were received, all in good condition. HD cleared the work area read all the instructions and began the days events. After removing the old doors the job was quite easy, homee dad thought to himself ( why you could have been a rocket scientist - you are awesome).
Door one is installed, winding of the torsion bar is completed carefully 31 quarter winds as per the instructions. Homee dad stand at the foot of said door lifts with one finger as this is implied that all you will need. OK one hand, now try two hands, still nothing, SKS is working so HD decides to hook a chain to the door and get the assistance from his favorite long haired Canardly - PULL AZIA he yells, he then rushes to release the choke collar before Azia passes out.
After some consultation with Azia, Homee comes to the conclusion that something is wrong. He checks all previous actions - no rum on site, area clean, read instructions, all level and red on the left.
Day two - Homee decides to install second door paying close attention to instructions to see if all is well. Door installed - door opens with one finger, door closes easy. Homee takes a glance at door #1, he could swear that he saw it smile. (still no rum involved).
Homee now takes door # 1 down thinking he has missed something and all will be well the second time. Door installed, HD goes to lift, door does not move - great pain as he throws out his back. Should have used Azia again. With a perplexed look on my face I lift door #2, slides with ease, makes HD feel much better.
Call lumber store - speak to nice man at the counter - states they did have problems with the torsions bars , come in and pick up new one. WOOO HOOO HD not to blame, SKS will still know him as the genius he is.
Take torsion bar down, drive to town, get new one, return home, install, lift door - %$^%$@@, make call - return to town pick up another bar - return home install bar, lift door $%^^%$##%^*&^%$$%^^&&& !
Return to lumber store, speak with garage door man- review all instructions - all good, (still no rum). Nice man gives another bar. As homee loads said bar in the truck he notices black spray paint on the one side of bar. Thats funny??
Thinking about paint he recalls instruction # 5. But there are two screws as was with all other bars which were painted red! Homee considers that fact that perhaps the torsion bar has been put on backwards - NO! red screw on side of all bars ( red means left ). Homee gets home, lifts torsion bar to place, this time he will turn around the other way ^%%&^*&*^^, nice man gave torsion bar for 8' door not 9' door. HD returns to get 9' bar and speaks to nice man about red and black. Nice man explains the BRIGHT RED screws should be ignored, should refer to the spray paint if on the bars for left or right. Nice man still has all bars returned by HD, walk over - look carefully - no paint. Nice man says with sheepish look - in the absence of read the bar is black. States this as if anyone installing doors knows this.
HD returns home with 9' bar - installs, lifts door with one finger - drinks bucket of rum!
Homee Dad
As many are aware HD and Sidekick Sue have been renovating our humble home for some years now. A few weeks ago Homee ordered new garage doors for the resting place that houses our modes of transportation. The excitement grew as HD awaited for said doors to arrive, thus he could again impress the love of his life SKS with his ability to challenge and conquer.
For anyone who has taken a project like this on they are well aware the secret (although there are many) is to take your time and follow a few simple instructions.
1) do not consume rum while attempting to install doors
2) ensure you have a clean, unobstructed work place
3) read instruction carefully before proceeding with anything
4) ensure at all points that every thing is level
5) red means left side and black means right side
Homee was pumped, these instructions were very clear - and printed in such a manner that even HD could follow. (well #1 was tough but, I was out of rum at the time)
Two 7' X9' doors and all parts were received, all in good condition. HD cleared the work area read all the instructions and began the days events. After removing the old doors the job was quite easy, homee dad thought to himself ( why you could have been a rocket scientist - you are awesome).
Door one is installed, winding of the torsion bar is completed carefully 31 quarter winds as per the instructions. Homee dad stand at the foot of said door lifts with one finger as this is implied that all you will need. OK one hand, now try two hands, still nothing, SKS is working so HD decides to hook a chain to the door and get the assistance from his favorite long haired Canardly - PULL AZIA he yells, he then rushes to release the choke collar before Azia passes out.
After some consultation with Azia, Homee comes to the conclusion that something is wrong. He checks all previous actions - no rum on site, area clean, read instructions, all level and red on the left.
Day two - Homee decides to install second door paying close attention to instructions to see if all is well. Door installed - door opens with one finger, door closes easy. Homee takes a glance at door #1, he could swear that he saw it smile. (still no rum involved).
Homee now takes door # 1 down thinking he has missed something and all will be well the second time. Door installed, HD goes to lift, door does not move - great pain as he throws out his back. Should have used Azia again. With a perplexed look on my face I lift door #2, slides with ease, makes HD feel much better.
Call lumber store - speak to nice man at the counter - states they did have problems with the torsions bars , come in and pick up new one. WOOO HOOO HD not to blame, SKS will still know him as the genius he is.
Take torsion bar down, drive to town, get new one, return home, install, lift door - %$^%$@@, make call - return to town pick up another bar - return home install bar, lift door $%^^%$##%^*&^%$$%^^&&& !
Return to lumber store, speak with garage door man- review all instructions - all good, (still no rum). Nice man gives another bar. As homee loads said bar in the truck he notices black spray paint on the one side of bar. Thats funny??
Thinking about paint he recalls instruction # 5. But there are two screws as was with all other bars which were painted red! Homee considers that fact that perhaps the torsion bar has been put on backwards - NO! red screw on side of all bars ( red means left ). Homee gets home, lifts torsion bar to place, this time he will turn around the other way ^%%&^*&*^^, nice man gave torsion bar for 8' door not 9' door. HD returns to get 9' bar and speaks to nice man about red and black. Nice man explains the BRIGHT RED screws should be ignored, should refer to the spray paint if on the bars for left or right. Nice man still has all bars returned by HD, walk over - look carefully - no paint. Nice man says with sheepish look - in the absence of read the bar is black. States this as if anyone installing doors knows this.
HD returns home with 9' bar - installs, lifts door with one finger - drinks bucket of rum!
Homee Dad
posted by Homee Dad's View of Life at 6:36 AM
2 Comments:
All that fun for the price of a garage door ... lucky you!
It's obvious, the red paint is thicker than the black paint OR the black paint is thicker than the red paint OR neither paint is thicker OR neither paint is thinner.
Blue paint is nice AND it would the sky.
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